My inner voice.
Its been very quiet since finishing my half marathon. Okay, that's not true. Actually, a lot has been going on inside of me, but articulating it has been a genuine struggle.
I have all these grand intentions. I want to - and still plan to - post pictures from my run. I have even checked other items off my list. But I have lackluster in reporting them.
I am quiet...
I've come to this blog page so many times to try and post something and... nothing.
What can I say?
Life has busied me - beautiful life, full of friends, celebrations, feasts and responsibilities. But that's not why I don't write. Walking on my lunch break earlier this week, looking around me on that crisp autumn day, chilly, the sun shining bright, it hits me as I cross the street:
I've lost my voice.
I hear this happens to writers from time to time. ha. ;) No, I know first hand that it does. Even in graduate and undergraduate, I would lose it, my ability to write. That's because writing is not simple for me. It comes from the heart, deep within. From my inner bedrock. It can't be frivolous for me. That's not how I operate; it's not how I am wired. There's intention and meaning behind every word, sentence, statement, paragraph, essay. From the part to the whole, there's purpose. I don't write because I can't. Not at the moment at least. Physically, can I? Yes. But existentially? No. And unfortunately, that's how I live - a step by step sophist. Existentialism is everything.
So until I have something to say, I have nothing to say. But for you hard facts people, I appease you: though I have lost my voice, I haven't lost my ambition. Items on my list are being ticked off and/or progressing nicely over the course of the time they need. Some things are being edited and changed. And my half birthday just passed at the beginning of this month, which means, I have turned the corner. Half way through...
Thus ends my report. And soon I will share again, I hope, with my voice being found.
Love,
H::
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