Alicia Strikes Again :: ROAR ::

"... Louder than a lion cause I am CHAMPION and you're gonna hear me ROAR!!"

Katy Perry's new song.

I am addicted. 

Thanks to Alicia Harvey. Who, in truth, found the song from Alexis Crowell. So Lex, here's one of your many impending shout outs: THANK YOU FOR THE NEW SONG! Another woman sharing her tenacious spirit. Ah, it's refreshing.

Alicia and Brooke got this awesome opportunity to run in the world's largest relay, Hood to Coast. One literally runs from Mt. Hood to the Oregon Coast on a 12 man team. 198 miles, 12 people, 1 goal. Saturday I drove to the beach to retrieve them from their crazy venture. Saturday night as we were driving home after our British beach bonfire, Alicia broke the silence of our ride with Katy Perry's new song.

I was instantly hooked; the sleeping tiger in me awoke. This song was made for women like me: Fightin' women.

I have been listening to it NONSTOP since Saturday night - on my Sunday run, on my Monday bike ride to and from work and on my lunch break. Even this Tuesday morning bike ride was consumed with the song's prowess. And as I listened to it on my way in, I had a revelation: this song reminds me of why I created my list in the first place - I want the world to hear me ROAR.

My 30 before 30 list is my way of roaring. I want to be heard. I want people to know I was here, that I lived and lived well. I want to leave my mark. I just finished reading Tattoos on the Heart, an incredible book about one man's ministry to the gangs of LA. The book seeps with wisdom but it made me realize how much I (and all of us) yearn for significance - to be and do something significant. Through the stories of his life, Father Gregory Boyle proves we can do and be significant. I believe we can. I know I can. So I am going for it with all I have!

Last night I had $1 margaritas with one of my dearest friends in the PDX area, Sara. Sara and I are running a half marathon together, #4 on my list. This prompted us talk about my list and my definitions for words like "publish" or "wine snob". Again I was reminded that it's not that I expect to finish everything. But that I do need to try for everything. I want to keep pushing forward towards my goals and dreams. Even if I only accomplish 10 of the things on my list, I will be closer to the Hannah God intended me to be because I am finally living into the desires He gave me. That is the end game for me, people. Nothing more, nothing less. Hear me on this and remind me of this if I waver. The tasks on my list are not the end; the end is to fight through my fears to accomplish my goals. In that, I can be a victor. To that end, I will have accomplished much more. Being a champion is a mentality. It's the approach I choose take to my list, for sure. But, ultimately, its the approach I choose to take towards my life. I choose to rock it because I am a champion.

"I got the eye of the tiger, a fighter, dancing through the fire

Cause I am a champion and you’re gonna hear me ROAR

Louder, louder than a lion

Cause I am a champion and you’re gonna hear me ROAR

You’re gonna hear me roar!!"

You better believe as long as the Lord lets me breathe, I will not quit until everyone hears me roar! 

 

 :: Brooke, Myself & Alicia, Post Hood to Coast ::

:: Me & Leesh, on the beach :: 

(Girls, we got the eye of the tiger ;)

Further Up & Further In ::

This phrase is haunting me. It dogs my steps wherever I go lately and I can't escape the reality that my heart innately screams this one idea from the depth of my being: I ever want to go "further up & further in".

For those of you who have no idea what I am referring to, it's a quote - a concept, really - from C.S. Lewis' Chronicles of Narnia series. It's specifically mentioned in the final book of the series, The Last Battle. How do I best express the beauty of this concept?? Perhaps by using the story itself. 

Lewis, an ardent follower of Christ, wrote the Narnia series as a tangible metaphor of the gospel narrative - creation, separation, salvation, resurrection and glorification (more simply put life, death, grace, triumph and truth). He does so by using two parallel worlds.... and children. Why children? Because children are magical! They believe in the fanciful; they haven't become jaded or cynical yet. It is why Christ in Mark, chapter ten, verse fifteen assures the disciples that none of them will enter the kingdom of God unless they are like one of the little children surrounding Him at the moment - eager, sensitive and aware of His wonder. Their eyes are open; they see his beauty. Children have this ability to be vulnerable, transparent and carefree in all the right ways - in ways that we adults forget. Adults value authenticity but hesitate to live by it while children know no other way to be. This enables them to press into the wonder of life's majesty; they are yet untainted by life's pessimism and it is beautiful. 

But I am getting off track... Lewis' Last Battle is all about the glorification stage of the Christian story. It's about the king returning to lay rightful claim over his world and his people. It's all about a new earth as promised. As the children of Lewis' story arrive in this fresh earth they don't quite recognize it for what it is. But Aslan, the king and triune God figure, knows exactly what is going on: all things have been made new. He races off and tells the kids to meet him "further up and further in." What?! They are lost and confused at his statement though not shocked. Aslan is known for his cryptic sayings. For a while, the children loiter about their new surroundings. Yet as they do, it begins to feel known to them. It slowly dawns on the children that they are in a familiar place. They are in their Narnia... but it is a Narnia renewed. This awakens a zeal and refreshment in them that enables them to physically move. Suddenly, they are unencumbered. They begin to walk farther into this familiar country, and as they do, they quickly pick up the pace, invigorated by the literal air they breathe in. They climb mountains and go higher. They scale waterfalls and arrive at new heights. And with each new feat, they land further up. Suddenly, in the distance ahead, they see a small city on a hill. The children race to it's gate and they go in. They soon discover the city is small only from a distance but very large within. Once inside the city the children realize that they have come to the very heart of their Narnian country. Aslan, anxious to be with them, awaits them there. The children have arrived at further up and further in. 

This is the story. I pray that as I described it you began to sense it's beauty. I am sitting here grasping for words to convey the vision, but I feel challenged to trust that somehow the truth will find its way into your heart. As a Christian, as someone who believes there is no other and no greater story - no greater truth - than that of the gospel of Jesus Christ, I crave to know the heart of God and His kingdom with my entire being. I want all those I know and love to crave it too. Every time I long for beauty or relationship, or every time I experience the earth - sunsets, flowers, hugs, tears, sorrows - I feel a stirring within me pointing me to the deeper reality of the Triune God. This stirring begs at me with pleading and outstretched hands, "Hannah, please. Come further up and further in." I waver. I doubt. I resist, but then unbeknownst to me, I reach for the beggar's hand. I take a step. One step further in. I face a trial. I weep. I faint. Then I choose to press on and climb the height. I am further up. Every day, I have a chance to take hold of this forward, ascending motion. Some days I stay stagnant and motionless, paralyzed by fears or worries that are not mine to hold. Other days, I am running fast, the landscape whizzing by me in a blur, the hilly terrain being no problem for my faltering feet. I can let go and fly free. I constantly go back and forth (being a Christian makes me me far from perfect). But one thing remains. My desire. And desire is crucial, because it is a powerful and motivating force. It pushes me further up and further in. 

One of the characters in The Last Battle doesn't believe in Aslan. He is of another country and of another god, Tash. In the end he is tricked into thinking he can see Tash though it may cost him his life. But he is desperate to see his god, a god he has claimed throughout his entire existence. As the young warrior, Emeth by name, arrives at the door that obstructs his view of Tash, he is trembling. This is it, the moment he has been waiting for, but it is a moment that never comes. He never meets Tash ... but he does find Aslan. He tells the children later that though his heart turned to water the moment before walking through that door, still his desire was stronger than his fear*. He wanted to see God. And when he did... when he saw Aslan, this young warrior experienced a happiness "so great that it ... weaken[ed] him like a wound." For Emeth, seeing Aslan and receiving his love was "the marvel of all marvels, that he [would call him] Beloved..."**.

I marvel at the same thing: that God calls me Beloved. Yet Emeth's desire was greater than his fear and this desire lead him further up and further in.  I am constantly afraid. I feel wounded, just like Emeth, whether in happiness or in sadness. But also, like Emeth, I cry out from the belly of my being for completion and wholeness, to know and be subsumed by God; I cry out to live in full beauty and full truth. To do this, I must let my desire remain stronger than my fear bearing in mind that newness of life with my King on a glorious new earth awaits me. But to meet Him, to find Him, I must be brave. I must take the beggar's hand and take the step despite what I see. I ever must go further up and further in.

H::

:: To all my fellow Christ followers, away from the shadow lands and into the sun! "The term is over: the holidays have begun. The dream is ended: this is the morning." ***

Let us go further up and further in. ::

*The Last Battle, pg 163

**The Last Battle, pg 164-165

***The Last Battle, pg 183

Long Time, No Post ::

... It's been a while... and because of that I struggle with where to start, but I know that I have to start somewhere. Better to take action to help find the motivation than wait for the motivation to then take action. If we follow the latter, often times things are left undone.  At least that's been the case for me... 

However, though I haven't posted, I have been active :) I have completed a couple of items on my list and have a few new tasks under way. Please stand by/be on the look out for some posts within the next couple days detailing my 5k run and my insights on The Chronicles of Narnia series. I am excited to share stories, pictures and reflections from both! 

It's a wonderful feeling having my goals in sight, and then pressing through to accomplish them. I would highly encourage you to write down few of your dreams, regardless of what age they are turning, and begin shooting for them! There is something incredible that happens inside a person when they achieve a goal they have always wanted. It's definitely a feeling I can live with. 

Okay, stand by for the posts to come! And, as always, thank you for believing! 

H ::